When you build a fire, whether to warm your home or to add a bit of ambience on a cold, winter’s night, you know you’ve got to tend to the fire to keep it going. Relationships are no different. They, too, begin with that initial spark, but you both have to tend to the relationship to keep the heat!
In our modern age, too many couples are ready to throw in the towel as soon as things begin to cool off slightly. Love takes work, that’s the reality. I’ve known and worked with many couples who have been together for decades and I’ve learned some of the key things that have helped them stay together for so long.
Give Each Other Your Full Attention
One of the greatest gifts of love you can give someone is your attention. Especially in today’s day and age, when it seems everyone has their head down, staring at their phone.
When you first fell in love, the other person was the center of your world. Has that changed over time? Do you take each other for granted?
Whether it’s to share a silly story or seek advice, be sure to always give each other your full attention. Tune into them fully and engage. Ask questions and be with them there in the moment.
When the relationships begins to feel stale and old, it’s time to learn something new together. This could be taking a Salsa class or learning how to white water raft. The wonderful thing is while you are learning a new skill together, you will most likely learn new things about each other. We get to a point in our relationship when we think we know everything about the other person. But people are deep, mysterious wells that take years and years to explore!
Take turns planning something fun and spontaneous for you to do each month. It could be borrowing your friend’s rooftop condo for a rooftop summer picnic with stunning views of downtown. Or it could be taking a weekend cooking class, or going on an overnight trip up into the mountains. Being spontaneous not only helps you break out of your relationship rut, it “forces” you to really think of the other person and what might make them happy.
Love is not something you fall in and out of; it is a journey that both of you are on together. To stay the course, be sure to give each other your full attention, learn together, and be spontaneous!